I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
