...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
