he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
