he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
