I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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