Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
