Cold hands, warm shart.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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