I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
