don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
