Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
