wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
