Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
