my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
