I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
