we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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