you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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