I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
