last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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