smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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