its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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