She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
