Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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