Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
