No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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