Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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