so that wasnt chicken after all
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
