He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
