Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize