no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
