Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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