I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
