Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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