So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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