so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
