no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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