well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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