I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
