we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
