Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
