guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
