my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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