I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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