Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize