Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
