Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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