Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
