you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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