Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize