we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
