i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
