I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize