Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
