i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sobbing to NWA
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
