East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
