All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
