Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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