I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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