summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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