once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
