worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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