Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
