This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
