margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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