I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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