'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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