i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
