So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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