I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize