This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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