Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
