Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The air was thick with penises
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize