I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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