You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
