No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
