is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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