do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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