Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize