i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
