You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
