you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
