I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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