Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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