You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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